Bullying: A Free Decision Tool for Kids and Teens

Being bullied is not solved by a single piece of advice, because what helps depends entirely on the type, the setting, and how much power the other person has. This free companion walks a young person through what is actually happening, which responses fit that specific situation, and what to do when the first attempt at telling an adult does not work — which is common and is not a reason to stop.

Naming what is happening

Bullying is repeated behaviour that hurts, involving a power imbalance. It includes physical and verbal forms, but also social exclusion, rumour-spreading, and online harassment — the kinds that are hardest to report because there is often nothing visible to show. Working out which type it is matters, because the useful response to exclusion is very different from the useful response to a physical threat.

Why autistic and ADHD young people are targeted more

Autistic students are bullied at substantially higher rates than their peers. Differences in speech, interests, or reaction are visible and can draw attention, and a strong visible reaction can make the behaviour more rewarding to repeat. None of this makes it deserved, and none of it means masking harder is the answer. It does mean the response plan needs to account for a bigger audience and a longer memory than average.

Options, with honest trade-offs

Ignoring works for low-level attention-seeking and fails against sustained targeting. A flat, boring response often reduces the reward, and works better than an escalation that gets you in trouble too. Documenting — dates, screenshots, what was said — turns a vague report into something a school has to act on. Telling an adult works best when it is specific, written, and directed at someone with the authority to change something.

When telling does not work

Sometimes the first adult does nothing. That is a failure of that adult, not evidence that telling is pointless. The next step is going higher — a different teacher, a head of year, a parent contacting the school in writing — and keeping a record of who was told and when. Written reports are much harder to lose than conversations in a corridor.

How to use this tool

  1. Work out which type of bullying it is and where it happens.
  2. Choose responses that fit that type, not generic advice.
  3. Start a record: dates, what happened, who saw it, screenshots.
  4. Pick an adult and a backup adult. Everything stays in your browser.

Common questions

What counts as bullying?
Repeated behaviour intended to hurt, where there is an imbalance of power. It includes physical, verbal, social, and online forms. A single serious incident can also require action even if it has not been repeated.
Does ignoring bullying work?
Sometimes, for low-level attention-seeking behaviour. It works poorly against sustained targeting, exclusion, or online harassment, where documenting and reporting are usually more effective.
What if I tell an adult and nothing changes?
Go higher and put it in writing. A written report with dates and specifics to a head of year, safeguarding lead, or parent who will contact the school formally is much harder to ignore than a verbal mention.

Where this fits

This companion is free psychoeducational self-help. It is not therapy, diagnosis, or crisis care, and it does not replace a licensed clinician. Everything you enter is stored locally in your own browser and is never transmitted to a server.

It lives inside FeelingsHelper Kids & Teens Mode, alongside more than sixty other free companions for autism, ADHD, PTSD, and trauma.

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