My Compassionate Mind & Shame Companion

A free, interactive studio built on Paul Gilbert’s Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) model. See your threat, drive and soothing systems as a living biosphere, sculpt a compassionate ally, gently unravel a shame "knot" where you feel it in your body, practice soothing rhythm breathing and answer the inner critic. Designed with autistic, ADHD and trauma-affected adults in mind. It is psychoeducational self-help, not therapy, diagnosis or crisis care.

The three emotion-regulation systems

CFT describes three interacting systems: threat (protection, anxiety, shame), drive (goals and reward) and soothing (safeness and connection). Shame and harsh self-criticism keep the threat system switched on. In the Biosphere, a loud threat system shows up as storm clouds and rain; raising soothing brings calm water that lets the drive garden grow steadily instead of in anxious bursts. No balance is "wrong" — the picture simply makes an invisible pattern visible.

Build a compassionate ally

Imagining an "ideal compassionate other" is a core CFT practice (Gilbert, 2009; Lee, 2005). Choose a wise elder, guardian creature, ancient tree, warm light or calm ocean, then set its glow, warmth, size and voice, and write what it says to you. When the critic is loud, you can call the ally into the Answer-the-critic exercise so it stands beside you. Imagery is optional; describing a feeling or voice works too.

Unravel a shame knot

Shame is often felt physically — a tight throat, heavy chest or knotted stomach. Externalizing it, a narrative-therapy idea (White & Epston, 1990), creates a little distance. Place the knot, rate its heaviness, then move through four steps: notice it, remember common humanity (Neff, 2003), soothing rhythm breathing, and thank the part that was trying to protect you. The knot visibly softens into a calm glow. You can stop at any step.

Answer the inner critic

A three-step reflection asks what the critic said, what it may be protecting you from, and how your compassionate self would reply. Entries can be edited or deleted and stay on your device. Short timed practices include a compassionate letter, soothing touch, friendly voice tone and safe-place imagery, each with its source.

Privacy and the optional AI voice

All studio work is saved only in this browser. An optional AI helper gives one short reply only when you approve that single request. Before anything leaves the device, last names, places, contact details, dates and health details are removed on the device and again on the server; replies are not stored. A clinician can lock AI off on a device with a PIN plus professional credential. The AI is instructed never to diagnose, interpret risk or replace a clinician; if distress feels unmanageable, the crisis button stays at the top of the page.

How to use this tool

  1. Open the Biosphere and set where your threat, drive and soothing systems feel today.
  2. Build your compassionate ally — or describe its qualities in words.
  3. When shame shows up, use Unravel to place it and move through the four steps.
  4. Use Answer critic to write a reply; summon your ally if it helps.
  5. Optionally approve one short AI compassionate-voice reply and keep only the lines that fit.

Common questions

What is Compassion-Focused Therapy?
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, is an approach for people with high shame and self-criticism. It teaches how the threat, drive and soothing systems interact and builds compassionate capacities through imagery, breathing and practice. This tool shares CFT-informed exercises for self-help; it is not CFT treatment.
How can I stop feeling so much shame?
Shame usually eases through connection and soothing rather than argument. Naming it, recognizing that many people feel it, slowing your breath and asking what the shame is trying to protect can reduce its intensity. Persistent or overwhelming shame is worth bringing to a licensed clinician.
What is a compassionate ally or compassionate other?
It is an imagined figure, creature or presence that embodies wisdom, strength, warmth and commitment toward you. Holding it in mind can help the soothing system come online when the critic is loud.
Is self-compassion just letting myself off the hook?
No. Research by Kristin Neff and others links self-compassion to more accountability and persistence after mistakes. It changes the tone you use with yourself, not the facts.
Does the AI read my entries?
No. AI only sees the text you place in its box and approve for that one reply, after names and identifying details are removed. Your saved entries, ally and knots never leave the device.

Where this fits

This companion is free psychoeducational self-help. It is not therapy, diagnosis, or crisis care, and it does not replace a licensed clinician. Everything you enter is stored locally in your own browser and is never transmitted to a server.

It lives inside FeelingsHelper Adults Mode, alongside more than sixty other free companions for autism, ADHD, PTSD, and trauma.

Related free tools

  • Behavioral Activation — Schedule small value-linked actions and track what each one does to your mood.
  • Cognitive Distortions — Name the thinking trap, test it against evidence, and write a balanced alternative.
  • Inner Critic — Separate the critical voice from yourself, find what it protects, and answer it.
  • REBT & Flexible Thinking — Turn rigid musts and shoulds into preferences that survive contact with reality.
  • Inner Critic for Teens — Externalise the harsh voice, trace where it came from, and answer it fairly.