My Window of Tolerance Trauma Map: Find Your Zone, Match a Skill

Three age bands, the same clinical model

Ages 9–13 use plain words - "too fast", "just right", "too quiet" - with a simple three-band map and picture cues. Ages 14–17 use "revved", "in my window" and "shut down" with a more detailed map and personal signal lists. Ages 18–21 use the clinical terms hyperarousal, window of tolerance and hypoarousal, with fuller psychoeducation on autonomic states. The underlying model, drawn from Siegel, Ogden and Porges, is identical across all three.

Different skills for revved and for shut down

Most coping lists fail because they offer calming skills to a person who is already collapsed. Deep slow breathing can deepen a shutdown; cold water and paced exhale can settle activation. The companion sorts 22 skills - DBT TIPP and STOP, orienting to the room, grounding, movement, temperature change, rhythm and paced breathing - by which zone they actually fit, so the skill matches the state instead of fighting it.

Autism, ADHD, AuDHD and PTSD leave the window differently

Autistic young people are often pushed out by sensory load and unpredictability, and the way back in usually involves reducing input rather than adding a technique. ADHD activation is frequently understimulation, urgency or rejection pain, and needs movement and structure. AuDHD stacks both, so the exits conflict. PTSD arousal is threat-conditioned and can look like anger, freeze or spacing out. The Neurotype Lens rewrites the signals and the first move for each profile.

Built to be safe to leave

A sticky safety dock stays on screen with an instant exit, a calm-only mode that hides everything except grounding, and a crisis link. If distress is rated 8 or higher, the more demanding content locks itself and the tool offers regulation first. Nothing is uploaded; everything a young person enters stays on their own device.

For parents, teachers and therapists

The map gives a shared vocabulary for what an adult is seeing. "You look revved" is usable in a hallway in a way that "calm down" is not. The personal signal checklist a young person builds can be brought to a session, an IEP or 504 meeting, or a safety plan, and it pairs naturally with the SUDS tracker, grounding, and trauma-responses tools elsewhere on FeelingsHelper.

How to use this tool

1. Pick the age band that matches you: 9–13, 14–17, or 18–21.
2. Set the Neurotype Lens to autistic, ADHD, AuDHD or PTSD if one of those fits you.
3. Tap the zone on the map that matches your body right now.
4. Tick the signals you actually notice - heart, breath, thoughts, body, voice.
5. Choose one skill the tool offers for that zone and run it, using the timer if you want one.
6. Re-check your zone afterwards and notice whether anything moved, even a little.
7. Use the safety dock to switch to calm-only mode or leave at any moment - stopping is allowed.

Common questions

What is the window of tolerance?

It is the range of nervous-system arousal in which a person can think clearly, feel emotion and stay connected at the same time. Above the window is hyperarousal - fight or flight, racing thoughts, panic or anger. Below it is hypoarousal - shutdown, numbness, fog or collapse. The term comes from Dr Dan Siegel.

Is this tool safe for a child with trauma?

It is designed to be. It is stabilization-only: it never asks for the trauma story, never prompts recall of an event, and offers an instant exit, a calm-only mode and a crisis link on every screen. If a young person rates distress at 8 or higher, the more demanding content locks and regulation is offered first.

What is the difference between hyperarousal and hypoarousal?

Hyperarousal is too much activation - fast heart, tense muscles, loud or scrambled thoughts, urge to fight, argue or run. Hypoarousal is too little - heavy limbs, foggy head, feeling far away or unreal, hard to speak or move. They need opposite skills, which is why locating the zone comes before choosing a skill.

Why does deep breathing sometimes make it worse?

Slow deep breathing lowers arousal, which helps someone who is revved but can push someone who is already shut down further down. In hypoarousal, gentle movement, orienting to the room, temperature or rhythm usually works better. The tool sorts skills by zone for exactly this reason.

Does it work for autistic and ADHD young people?

Yes - that is a core design goal. The Neurotype Lens changes the described signals and the suggested first move for autistic, ADHD, AuDHD and PTSD profiles, because sensory overload, understimulation and threat conditioning move a person out of the window for different reasons and need different exits.

Is any of this stored or sent anywhere?

No. Everything entered stays in the browser on the device being used. Nothing is uploaded to a server, no account is required, and the tool is free.

Does this replace therapy?

No. It is free psychoeducational self-help and a Phase 1 stabilization aid that can sit alongside therapy or a school support plan. It is not treatment, not trauma reprocessing, and not a crisis service. In an emergency call 911, or call or text 988 in the US.

Where this fits

This companion is free psychoeducational self-help. It is not therapy, diagnosis, or crisis care, and it does not replace a licensed clinician. Everything you enter is stored locally in your own browser and is never transmitted to a server.

It lives inside FeelingsHelper Kids & Teens Mode, alongside more than sixty other free companions for autism, ADHD, PTSD, and trauma.

Related free tools

• Meltdowns & Anger — A visual volcano for spotting overload early and cooling down before eruption.
• Spoons & Energy — Track daily energy with spoon theory and find the drains nobody counts.
• SUDS Distress Scale — Rate distress 0-10 and get the body cues, thoughts, and skills matched to that level.
• Behavioral Activation — Schedule small value-linked actions and track what each one does to your mood.
• DBT Skills — Practice all four DBT modules and learn which skill fits which distress level.